preschool and legacies

I was going to upload a video of Russell that is so cute...but blogger is not being compliant, so you'll all just have to wait.  Sorry.

So some of you may know that I teach preschool in my home to 3 other girls and one boy (along with my Krysta) for one week every 5 weeks.  This week is my week.  I may or may not have just remembered that I was teaching this week late last night...So it's a good thing that even though it takes a ton of work to teach them, it doesn't take too much preparation.  We're pretty laid back in our preschool.  The hard part is getting them to listen to you, sit down, stay with the assigned activity for more than 30 seconds, etc.  So the prep work is pretty easy.  Which I'm so so glad about, since I didn't leave myself much time to prepare. 
So this week we are learning about families, the letter "y" and reviewing the numbers 16-20.  As we're talking about families and what they are, one girl said "they're something about trees.  I know we all have a tree."  So cute.  And so right.

I'm thankful for my family tree.  I'm thankful for grandparents and other ancestors on both sides who were strong people and stayed faithful to what they believed in.  People who were good and left a legacy of faith behind them.  Sometimes I think about what kind of legacy I will leave.  I hope it's a good one too, and that my children and descendants will be better off for the things I leave them with.  Am I teaching my children the things they will need to know so that they will stay on the path?  Yesterday in marriage and family relations class the teacher instructed us to make sure we share stories from our own life with our children.  Personal stories can bring in the spirit and help our children to relate to us better.  I don't think I do that enough.  But that would be so easy-share a story from my life with my kids.  I think that will help me to "leave that kind of legacy".

Puzzling giggles

I just had to share this video we took today.  Looks like Russell loves puzzles even more than I do... ;)  I just can't help but giggle every time I watch this.

Complimenting

I just have to say...yesterday was a good day.  I'd been praying to have a better attitude and not concentrate so much on the bad. 

I've been reading "As A Man Thinketh", recommended to me by my mother.  It's a short book written by James Allen in the early 1900's.  I am in the middle of the book, and so far it's been really good.  It talks about how our thoughts are what make up who we are.  Our thoughts, positive or negative, affect our physical health, mental health, state of happiness or misery, our success or failure.  Two people can experience the same thing, yet react very differently depending on their thoughts in relation to what happened.  We are in control of our thoughts, which means we are in control of our lives, no matter what happens, good or bad.   

I'm trying to teach some of these concepts to my children.  Makes sense to give them a head start on something I'm still figuring out.  It's very difficult to do however.  Children often feel that they don't have much control over their lives.  So I'm trying to teach them that they DO have control over how they react to situations.  That a situation by itself can't make you angry.  It's your thoughts that make you angry.  That's really hard to distinguish for me...so I get why my children have a hard time figuring this out too. 

This whole experience with Russell has kind of brought out the worst side of me to my children.  I've been angry alot, and I don't say very nice things when I'm angry. 

But last night, one of my children went with me to the store.  That particular child and I have been clashing a lot lately.  Even when I try to be supportive and kind, this child takes most of what I say the wrong way, and gets really offended.  This has really bothered me.  I haven't been able to talk to her, really talk, for a while now.  It's like she doesn't know I love her.  She isn't this way with Scott.  She becomes this really sweet, kind, funny little girl again with him. 
So I had decided to put extra effort into not reacting to whatever she said or did.  I'd also figured out that this child LOVES compliments.  So I complimented her alot while we were out. 
We had a great time together, meaning that she didn't get angry with me the whole time we were out, and I think it had a lot to do with the compliments.  My complimenting her helped me to have kinder thoughts towards her, and it helped me to not dwell on other stuff.  I hadn't realized that I'd become critical towards her.  I am hoping that it also helped her to know that I think highly of her, that I am proud of who she is, and that she always has my love.
Sometimes being a mother is really hard.  But last night was good.  I hope it's the start of what will be a better relationship.

ONE MONTH!!

Today is exactly one month since Russell got his cast on.  I actually didn't realize this until my sweet mother called to congratulate us on making it one month already.  Just like most other things in life when you look back, it seems like the time has gone by so fast, yet also sosooo slowly.  Fast because it's just hard to believe that it's been a month since we were at the hospital getting it put on.  But then when I think about how much I've learned, it seems like it's been on FOREVER. 

I think the biggest blessing it's brought to my personal life is that I'm more aware than ever of how much my Heavenly Father knows me personally, and has orchestrated my life and that of our family so that tender mercies were already in place to bless us, before I knew we would need them.  He knew exactly what I would need so that I could not despair, or give up.  I've learned things that I would not have learned if I wasn't going through this.  I'd thought we'd already been through some trials with our kids medical-wise, but I've learned they were just to prepare us better for this experience.  I've figured out why this is so hard for me-it's the longevity, and it's looking at that cast everyday.  It's like a really long illness...except no one's really sick (thank goodness).  Russell is actually a pretty happy kid.  He teaches everyone around him how to smile and laugh through hard things.  People are always commenting on how happy and smiley he always is.  This probably sounds weird, but I've had to work on seeing past the cast, and just seeing my adorable little boy.

Little miracles have happened along the way.  For example, before the cast, Russell would always cry as soon as he woke up in the morning and keep crying until he got some food in him.  He was also very afraid of loud sounds (like the blow-dryer).  This could have been a hard thing for him when his diaper leaks in the nighttime, because we have to change him and blow the cast dry before getting him dressed and eating breakfast.  However, he stopped crying when he had to wait to eat, and when the blow-dryer was turned on, about 3 days after he got the cast on.  He's pretty content to wait the hour it takes to do all of that every time we have to do it.  He doesn't cry AT ALL the whole time.  That's may seem like a small miracle, but it's huge to me and to Russell.  Heavenly Father is so mindful of us.

Friends

Today I am grateful for my friends.  I have some wonderful friends here in IF.  I am amazed at the compasssion that some people have inside of them...and it makes me want to do better.  To do better at noticing what others in my circle/neighborhood might need.  I live by some of the greatest examples of charity and kindness.  I am blessed to know them, and have their examples before me of what it means to follow the Savior. 

Just smell it...

So our phone died Monday.  I thought it was just the battery, since the battery hasn't been lasting as long as it used to, so I went to the battery store today to get a new one.  The sales clerk there found me a new and improved one, then offered to put it in the new phone just to make sure it would work.  He got it in, and still nothing happened.  So he went to get the voltmeter.  Another sales clerk just reached down, grabbed the phone and then he smelled it and said, "Nope, that's a dead phone." , and said I should smell it too.  "Wierd" is what I thought.  But I smelled it, and it smelled burnt.  Yup, that's a sure-fire way to tell if an appliance is dead.  Who needs voltmeters?

Soo...we're back in the "everything breaks" stage at our house.  Oven -check.  All 3 Phones -check.  Roof got more holes from wind-check.  Fish filter -check.  Do these things happen to everyone else in stages too? 

Oh well.  At least that's all these things are: things.

Stages

Sometimes life hits you in stages.  I think this cast has made us go through some so far.  I'm not sure why, but I really didn't expect this casting to be so hard on me emotionally.  It's been rough for Scott too.  It just still feels so overwhelming.  I'm not really angry anymore.  That was a tough one to get through, and I wonder if I've really seen the last of it...but I'm not angry lately.  It used to be hard to look at him in his cast...because it just made me so sad and angry.  Now, I just feel sad.  And blessed.  And sad.  I think you probably all understand this...it seems like when you're the one going through it, your head can get stuck in the sand.  It's hard to see the way out, or the end of it all.  But when you're not going through it, it's easier to have that empathy, and see the way out for whoever is going through it.  So I think my head's a little stuck in the sand today.  And I think that's ok.  Time will pass, my prayers will be answered, and my understanding of it all will increase.

Nursery!

Today was Russell's first day in nursery.  Scott and I had decided beforehand that we would stay with him the whole time for a few weeks, just to make sure everything would go ok.  It went pretty well.  The leaders there are great.  Sometimes I think I stress about things more than I need to.

Emalyn, Krysta, and I also looked at some dollhouse furniture how-to books together.  That was a lot of fun.  We've got some good projects planned.  This week, we're going to make some beds for their dollhouse out of sponges, pins, beads, and fabric pieces.  This one book, in particular, is awesome because it tells you how to make dollhouse furniture out of things you already have around your house.  And the projects are pretty easy.  I'm excited to be doing this with my girls!!

Lastly, I'm getting pretty good at making food without any oven.  I haven't had an oven for about two weeks now, and I've made dinner every night using either a crock-pot, toaster oven, microwave, and/or the grill outside.  I had thought it would be really hard to cook everyday without a stove or an oven, but it's easier than I thought it would be.  It just takes a lot of planning.  And then yesterday, my wonderful husband, figured out how to disconnect the oven from the stove, since the stove still works.  So last night, I was able to use the stove again.  I was soooo happy, you'd of thought he'd worked a miracle.  It's all about perspective, isn't it.

There Was An Old Lady...

There was a bookfair for our kids Elementary school today at Barnes and Noble.  Emalyn's class did a short play, reciting "There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly".  You can see her teacher off to the left, behind the "Old Lady's Stomach".  Emalyn got to be the cat.  She had her part memorized so well.  Emalyn is the fourth from the left.

 I tried and tried to get a picture of her looking at me, but I never did.  I think she's the cutest cat ever though!

This picture was taken at the end.  I love the proud look on her teacher's face.  She's a great teacher, and has done wonders for Emalyn this year. 

Temple

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we can enter holy temples if we are worthy.  Scott and I got to go to the temple together tonight.  It was wonderful to be there.  It'd been a while since our recommends expired before Russell got his cast on, and it took us a while to get them renewed.  It was wonderful to be in a place of love, peace, and tranquility.  To be in His Holy House.  
I always want to bring that feeling of peace home with me and keep it.  It's hard to do.  The temple also helps me to gain a better perspective on life and what's really important.  I am thankful for the temple.

Breakthroughs

Today I accomplished something that up until this morning seemed near to impossible: changing Russell's Knit-rite shirt under his cast!!! We changed it about a week after he got his cast on, and at that point the cast was so tight, that it felt like we were taking skin off as we shimmied the shirt up and down in his cast.  And it took us about 45 min to get one shirt off and put on the other.  So I decided we just would never try again.  However, it just kept getting dirtier and dirtier...imagine all the diaper leaks, food dribbles, dirt, etc.  Needless to say, it was getting pretty gross and smelly.  And then this morning, was one of the bad leaky mornings, where the whole diaper, the maxi pad, and the knit rite shirt were soaked.  I started washing it by hand, and then I realized how much give there was when I pulled the shirt out of the cast so I could clean it.  Of course!!! I thought, of course, he hasn't eaten yet, so the cast is not as tight right now!  So I took the shirt off (only took me about 5 min), gave him a good sponge bath, used the blow dryer to dry the inside of the cast (again, seriously he leaks about every 3rd morning, more or less), and then I put a clean shirt on him, by MYSELF, and it only took about 5-10 min!  Yay!  So exciting!

Also, there was a conference last September at OXFORD University (Oxford caught my eye because I have a brother who is going to be teaching there this summer) for Early-Onset Scoliosis (Progressive Infantile Scoliosis is in this group) and Miss Min Mehta presented there.   I have never met her, but I have so much gratitude and respect for her.  She is who came up with the Mehta cast technique (what Russell is currently in).  I also have great gratitude for Heather Hyatt, as she is who started ISOP and C.A.S.T. support group, where I have gained valuable advice, insight, knowledge as we go through this experience.  So I thought I'd share the following:  http://www.bsrf.co.uk/news/27/57/Oxford-EOS-Meeting.html

"The beautiful Christ Church College, Oxford, was the venue for the first Oxford Early-Onset Scoliosis Meeting in September, 2011, convened by Mr Colin Nnadi, FRCS. The faculty was a truly international one, and the subjects discussed the latest thinking in scoliosis in infants.

Undoubtedly one of the highlights of the meeting was the talk by Miss Min Mehta, FRCS, who presented on growth as a corrective force and discussed in detail the casting technique that was developed by Miss Mehta at Stanmore. She stressed the importance of paying attention to small curves in infants, and to the handling of a child by the parent, allowing the specialist to fully view the child and the parent to provide the observation so critical to monitoring the progression of the curve. Miss Mehta observed in her practice an asymmetry of the head and sometimes face which often accompanied scoliosis in infants and it is her opinion that idiopathic scoliosis in infants is rarely truly idiopathic. It is Miss Mehta’s opinion that once rotation has affected the spine, that this was near impossible to correct, and emphasised the importance of monitoring all curves in children. The Mehta casting technique uses a plaster of Paris jacket which allows room for the ribs, and is a technique currently enjoying resurgence in the US, due in no small part to the work of the Infantile Scoliosis Outreach Program, established by Heather Hyatt. Miss Mehta’s talk was met with a very moving standing ovation."

They just posted minutes from the meeting yesterday. Just so no one gets worried- Russell's scoliosis was caught before it affected his spinal cord, so he has great chances of complete correction.

I'm so grateful for people who have gone before us, and made our road with PIS somewhat easier.  Their acts have paved the way for Russell to have a much better life than he would have otherwise.

Sliding

Scott added the slide last night.  So not fair that he wasn't here this morning to see their faces (he finished adding it late last night).  I'm so impressed with him.  He planned it, built it.  The kids and I helped a bit too (Tyler, Emalyn, and Krysta did more than I did though). And it's pretty fun.  And we can spy on all our neighbors now too...ha ha ha.  I love having a husband that can do all that.  We're going to add a rock climbing wall on one side sometime, and turn the top floor into a crawl space eventually (there's no floor up there yet).   Come play at our house!!

Russell came UP the stairs a couple of times by himself today!! Hooray for him! 

All about Me

No, actually, for a change this post is not All About Me. It's about Emalyn being chosen as Star of the Week in her class and presenting her All About Me poster.   I actually got to be there, and it was so fun to watch her  in front of the whole class.  She was so poised, spoke clearly, and confidently.  She decorated the poster herself, with her likes, dislikes, pictures, colors, and other facts about herself. 

If you can see, the poster even has a couple of pictures of our fort on it.  Several kids were very impressed and asked to come to our house to play.  I'm so excited...that is exactly what I wanted when we decided to build it.

Here you can see Emalyn's teacher sitting next to her while her classmates sat on a rug in front of her.  They were so polite, asked really good questions, and made her feel so good.  It was a good day to be a mommy!

Thoughts

Russell is now just about as active as he was before the cast.  He walks along furniture, and sometimes takes a step or two without holding on, walks on his knees, can go up and down stairs, etc.  He still has trouble playing with anything on the floor (it's a little hard to reach) and he cannot climb onto chairs or couches, because he cannot bend at the waist.  It's so nice to not be so worried about him now.  He's getting back into being the cheery happy boy he was before.  I cannot tell you how much relief this gives me.  Soo much better now than two weeks ago.  I wonder how much of this we'll have to go through with each new cast.  It's more than just adjusting to another cast because every cast is different.  Some casts get more correction than others.  His curve could only go down to 19 degrees again in the next cast, or we might get more correction.  The thing is, is that even though the x-rays show 19* and 0* right now, it will probably go back to where it was as soon as the cast is off.  It just depends on how much he grows during each cast.  But each one will be a little different, different pressure points, different effects on the lungs and digestive organs.  This time, he had a lot of gas and burps and tummy pain, just due to the changes in his torso and the tight cast.  We have to feed him lots of small meals throughout the day, because he WILL throw up if he eats too much at one time.  There just isn't room in that tight cast.  Yea, that happened one day.  However, I think we're slipping into a routine finally, because things are really getting better.  Mostly just because I am accepting it better, and I have a better outlook on our future this year.  It's mainly due to me consciously deciding to have more positive thoughts about this.  I'm trying.

21

I can't believe it's almost been 3 weeks since Russell got his cast on! In some ways it seems like we were just there getting the cast on, and in some ways it seems like he's had it on forever! 

We took the gate that we've had at the top of our stairs (since he got his cast back on, it just was safer) yesterday.  He's getting so good at the stairs again.  I don't feel like it's a danger anymore.  They're not easy for him by any means, but his balance is getting better.  It's apparently a lot easier to go down than up (I'm not surprised) because he'll go downstairs, just because he can, I think.  And then he'll play for awhile, but then when he's ready to come back upstairs, he just sits at the bottom and cries, yelling, "Mom!" intermittently until I come where he can see me.  And then he just gives me this pleading look that says, "please come get me.  I'm too tired to come upstairs by myself."  And so I do.  I'm actually grateful for this, because most of the time I try to not help him, so that he'll learn to do things by himself.  But the stairs are REALLY so hard for him, and I feel ok about helping him with that.  And helping him is what I really want to do- it's so hard for me to not jump in and make everything easier for him.  I would love to just make everything better for him.  But I cannot.  It will not do him any favors in his life if he learns that I will do everything for him.  He will only get stronger if I let him figure out by himself how to do things. 

Can you tell that I say this to myself all day? 

It's a good lesson for me.  I am naturally one of those parents who loves to swoop in and save my children from everything that could possibly hurt them.  But I've recently begun learning to not do this.  It doesn't do any of my children any favors.  They won't learn anything if I do that.

And I'm seeing some wonderful results in my kids as I try out this better parenting technique.  Which is what makes it all worth it in the end.

20

Pictures of the fort were requested.  So here they are.  We forgot to take pictures as we went (which I'm a little sad about), but this first picture is the only one we had that shows some of what was there when the neighbors commented on it.

This was taken on Easter, during our Easter egg hunt.  You can see that just the bare wood supports are there in the upper right hand corner.

 This was taken this morning.  You can see that Scott has put in the bracings, ladders and some of the guard rails.

 He attached the fort to the swing set, which was already there.

 And here is the Rosemary Olive Oil bread, of which I am super duper proud of! And below you can see the flowers Scott surprised me with on a bad day last week.

19

Today, while we were out and about, I passed a little house that had this written in black marker on the window, "Trials are just another way to prove what you're made of".  This statement, plus the fact that someone graffiti'd their own house, totally caught my attention.  Kind of made me want to take charge of the trials in my life, and prove something with them.  Very empowering. 

Scott has been building a fort in our back yard for the kids to play in.  It's really tall, and just has the framing done so far, so it's a great climbing gym so far.  I don't think it's a problem.  But the neighbors seem to think it's dangerous.  And they not so politely let me know that.  Could be the fact that they can only see the top of it from their backyards, could be the fact that Scott hasn't been able to work on it any further for the last month, but it doesn't really matter.  What they said made me feel pretty bad.  And I called Scott, kind of hurt and angry that they said what they did.  I had some meetings to go to last night, and when I got home, there was Scott, in the dark, working on the fort.  Putting up bracings, guardrails, the works.  And my heart just grew (kind of like the Grinch's) with so much love and gratitude for a husband that'd had a bad day at work, took care of the kids for me while I was gone, put them in bed, and then worked so hard on that just for me.  He's my hero.

And just so you know, even though it kind of hurt my feelings, I think it's good neighbors who will speak up when they think you're building something dangerous for your children.  It's nice to know they care.

18

My biggest news today is that our oven finally died.  It's been "sick" for a few months now.  The top element hasn't worked for a while.  We even replaced it, only to realize that was not the problem.  Then, today, I was cooking something in it, when suddenly, I could smell something burning.  The BROILER was on, and yet the oven said it was at 350 degrees.  So I turned it off.  My peach crisp was only slightly crisper than I like it to be.  Scott came home from work, and about 15 min later, we could smell something off.  The Broiler was still on!! Even though the dial was clearly on OFF.  So we flipped the breaker switch.  So that's how the oven died, since the part we would need to fix it is no longer made.  Except that if you think about it being ON when we switched it off, and think about the movie Short Circuit....well, maybe it was alive and I have now "disassembled" it.   Now I feel bad...

On a completely different note...I have learned again today that I have the BEST sisters, sisters-in-law, and moms.  Thank you for all your kind words and encouragement, both in comments here and emails to me.  I'm doing better today.  Closer to acceptance of this reality...and that means less anger.  Not saying that I'm feeling all better, just that today was better than yesterday.  Yay.  I don't know how I got to be so lucky to have all of you in my family. I love my family!

Day 17

Well...today was not so good.  More leaky diapers, plus diarrhea.  So lots of time spent with the blow dryer on Russell's bum.  So hard to prevent diaper rash without the ability to just put him in the bath.    So he's not a very happy guy right now. 
I also have to clarify about the crawling.  He only crawled about 4 "steps" or so, and hasn't really tried since.  What he keeps trying to do, repeatedly is to get up on all fours (feet and hands), like he's doing "plank", and then he tries to use momentum and push himself up to standing from that position.  He's getting pretty frustrated that he can't even get his hands off the floor when he does that.  I wish I could tell him that NO ONE I know can do that.  I'm glad he's experimenting though.  That's the only way he's going to figure out how to be mobile.

I wish I knew how to not be angry about this cast.  Yes, I'll admit it, I"m angry.  Probably sounds wierd, because we chose this.  We chose to do this treatment, and I still know it's the right thing for Russell.  But I guess I"m just angry because it's so hard.  I can't really even spell out why it's so hard.  When I list the things that it changes about our lives, it doesn't seem like a long list.  So am I just feeling sorry for myself? Well, that may not have been the right question...because I am definitely feeling sorry for myself.  I just wish I knew what to do with this anger.  And I'm embarrassed that you all know how sad I am.  There are so many people out there with a lot harder things going on in their lives than this, and a lot of them are dealing with it in such a better way.  And please don't call me and tell me you read this.  It will honestly just embarrass me more.  But I'm hoping that by writing it, I get a little closer to feeling better.  And closer to knowing how to stop being angry and sad.

Day 16

Today, my highlight is that Russell CRAWLED!!  He actually crawled!  So much for thinking that he was just going to start walking now, and never crawl again...
It's interesting to watch him.  The cast must be heaviest in the crawl position, because his face turns purple and he grunts with every step.  It's hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time.  He amazes me!

I also learned a TON about saving money and cooking and dollhouses today while reading up at a new favorite website www.theprudenthomemaker.com.  My sister, Megan, is who mentioned this website to me when I was complaining that I have to go grocery shopping without Russell (because he doesn't fit in the front of a shopping cart anymore).  Shopping without Russell = shopping in the evenings.  When the kids are in bed, and Scott is home, and I only want to be hanging out with my hubby.  So I was complaining.  So she mentioned that this website has advice on how to only shop every two weeks.  And it has great advice on that... and a whole bunch of other stuff too.  It's amazing all the stuff that is cheaper everyday at Sam's club than at Smith's caselot sale.  Wow.   I probably shouldn't mention that I have a Sam's Club card that is WAY under used.  I also made her Rosemary Olive Oil Bread today.  All by hand-all the mixing, the kneading BY HAND.  I've never done that before.  And it turned out sooo good. 

I also found out today that my kids are taking piano lessons from Kevin Sharp's sister-in-law.  Yup, that's my new claim to fame.

Day 15

Aaarrrrggghh!  So this day started with one child missing the bus AND refusing to eat her breakfast, one child finishing all his jobs before 7am, one child completely ready for preschool and trying to leave before 8:30am (preschool starts at 9am), and one child with a leaky diaper that completely soaked into the cast....
And so I just wanted to go back to bed.  Why did I even get up?
Ever have those mornings? I'm sure I'm not the only one...but AAAAHHHHH I hate them.

But I didn't go back to bed. (Yay, me).  I did my best to be empathetic, yet firm with the one who missed the bus.  Lost my temper a bit, but I don't think that she knew, which is pretty good for me.  Ended up driving her to school TWICE, because of a forgotten lunch the first time.  But hey, I stayed true to the consequences.  Poor girl had to empty the dishwasher, give me her Leven Thumps book, AND pay me 50 cents to drive her twice.  Hey, you don't want to miss the bus around here.  But by the time we got to school the second time (about an hour late, after taking care of wet cast and driving other child to preschool), she was blowing me butterfly kisses on her way out the door.  (Something she made up, completely adorable :))  And I'm really proud of that.

The cast was about as wet as I've ever seen it this morning.  And SOoooooo smelly.  I cleaned him up, then blew it dry for about 45 min.  It was still damp, but we really had to go.  My neighbor volunteered yesterday to sew something for him, a kind of diaper that we could design ourselves.  I'm TOTALLY taking her up on this option.  I just have to see if I can come up with something that works.

At least the preschooler got herself completely ready for preschool all by herself.  That doesn't happen every morning.

And my day has calmed down somewhat.  I got to go on a walk with one of my friends this morning.  Always a fun thing to do.

Day 14

Happy Easter!
I love Easter.  This time is a wonderful time to ponder on the renewal of life, the atonement, the resurrection, and Spring.  I am so grateful for my Savior and His sacrifice for us.  His love for us makes even the hard things in life become beautiful.  I am grateful that He broke the bonds of death so we can live again with our families and with Him again.

Today was our first Sunday back in our ward with Russell in his cast.  We have such a great ward.  It's nice to go and feel the love and support from so many of our friends there.  Someone said to me, "Isn't it nice that it's all over now?  The waiting is done, and he's fine now that he's got his cast on."  This is one of my good friends, and it made me remember that THAT is exactly what I thought before we got his cast on.  I thought the waiting and anticipation was the hardest part.  Ha ha.  It's hard to explain to people that even though I am so grateful for this treatment option, and that it's helping him, it is still very hard to go through.  Amazing the difference in my eyesight that the last two weeks have made!

Today is a beautiful day.  It's so nice and warm outside...hard to believe that it was snowing just a few days ago.  Springtime = Renewal of the earth.  My heart is full of gratitude today for the gifts of Spring and the Atonement.

Day 13

Russell is getting braver every day.  He takes a few steps unassisted each day.  Most of the time he still holds on to furniture and my legs, and chairs, etc, to walk, or he walks on his knees, but he's getting a bit braver. 
Did I mention that one perk we got was to get a handicap decal to hang from our rearview mirror?  My sister-in-law, Heidi's, daughter is in a cast too (a spica cast for hip dysplasia) and she was nice enough to call us and tell us that we qualified for one.  It was pretty easy to get too.  It's nice to be able to park closely, especially since Russell is so heavy.  And it's nice when it's raining, because the cast can't get wet.
Today, I got to go to a baptism with Emalyn and Krysta.  One of Emalyn's friends was being baptized and both Emalyn and Krysta love her.  Her mom is one of my friends too, so it was nice to be there and share that special experience.  I love how excited Emalyn is to get baptized this year.  We had a nice discussion about it and she says she most excited that both her grandma's will be coming to it.  Sweet girl.  I am glad that I get to share these special experiences with my children.  To watch their testimonies grow is very dear to my heart.
It was a good day today.

Day 12

A couple of days ago, Russell woke up with a poopy and wet diaper (if you have a weak stomach, you may want to quit reading right now...) that leaked. 
This was not a new occurence.  Diapering in a cast is a real issue.  It's really hard to keep a diaper on, because the cast goes down past his hips, and you don't want the diaper up over the cast (because what would be the point then. Really.), so you try to tuck it up under the cast.  That doesn't work very well because the cast is REALLY REALLY tight.  And you want the cast to stay dry...because it's super hard to clean and because of bacteria and mold, etc, the grossness factor.  So what we do now is put a maxi pad along the front (tucked up underneath as much as possible, a pad along the back, disposable diaper tucked up as much as possible, with a green FLIP diaper shell for cloth diapers outside of that.  The FLIP has snaps and it will fit up over the cast, and kind of hold the rest of the absorbent stuff up where it should be.  So it's a process. 
But anyway, back to a couple of days ago, when we were still figuring all this out, and didn't put the maxi pad in the front.  So his diaper really really leaked bad.  In the front and in the back.  Soaked.  So, I took all the wet stuff off.  And then washed the knit-rite shirt and the inside of the cast with a cloth and mild baby soap.   Which made it wetter, but it smelled better.  Then I used a blow dryer on the cool setting to dry the shirt and the inside of the cast.  Russell hates the sound of the blow dryer.  It seems to really scare him.  So he cries the whole time it's on.  And it took 30 min to dry everything.  After that, I put the whole "diaper" on him, got him dressed and then we went and had breakfast.   It took about 45 min to take care of all of this.  We've since figured out how to not leak into the cast (I hope) and it's worked for about 3 mornings now.  That's the longest we've gone without any leaks.  I shudder to think what the inside of his cast will look like by the time it's taken off.  Yea, just don't think about it. Eww.

So I just thought I'd share this.  Because it's not the first thing I would think about when I see a kid in a cast.  And I was pretty sure you all needed educating in this area.  Yup.  Super helpful, I'm sure.

But also, because I think I take too much for granted in my life.  I mean, at least we have all of those things.  Especially the FLIP shell.  I don't know what we'd do without it.  And the blow dryer with a cool setting.  We didn't have one with that feature until last week, when we realized it was ESSENTIAL.   But it's nice to be able to speed up the drying process (but I still wish it was faster...) without burning my baby.

I am grateful for all the advice I got on diapering from the support group.  There were lots of ideas there, which helped us figure out what would work best for us.

The start of a "new" year for us.

Russell has recently begun treatment for PIS (Progressive Infantile Scoliosis), through body casting.  He had his first cast put on March 26.  That day, picking him up from the bed they wheeled him back in after surgery, it dawned on me that I wasn't as ready as I'd thought I was for this.  That there was no way I could have been ready to deal with this.  No, it's not as horrible as it could be.  Yes, it's worse than I'd like it to be.

Russell was diagnosed with PIS in July of 2011, by his pediatrician.  I'm so grateful to her for picking up on that.  I'd noticed that he sat "crookedly", like more on one side of his bum than the other, but I figured it was just part of being a flexible baby.  That started the road of multiple x-rays (he's had more than a dozen x-rays since then), multiple treatment options, and the overwhelming news that this will be going on at least until he stops growing.  My mind immediately jumped to thoughts of my cousin, KaeVe, in her body casts while we were growing up.  So I was devastated with the news of scoliosis. 
The doctors were very confusing.  One said that we'd just "watch and see".  That we should take no action, and just wait to see if it got worse.  He said it most likely would get worse, and that he'd eventually be in a brace and have multiple surgeries down the road. This didn't set well with us.  So we went for a second opinion.  The next doctor, from Shriner's hospital, told us that with Russell's measurements (45* curve, with a 45* RVAD) he had a VERY high risk of his curve progressing.  However, he said, there was possibility of a cure.  Casting.  (OK, this totally freaked me out, thoughts of my cousin in a body cast made me terrified of this option(no offense KaeVe!))  But then there was good news; it's a new type of casting, called Mehta casting, which uses the quick growth of the baby to correct the spinal curve, not just keep it from worsening.  It has to be started before Russell turns two, to be the most effective.

After a lot of discussion, research, and most importantly, fasting and prayer (including our families on both sides), we decided to go with the Mehta casting method.  We got the go-ahead at our appointment at Shriner's in January.  From there, we set a casting date: March 26.  I joined a support group, C.A.S.T., and read everything I could on PIS.  ISOP  is a great place to learn more.  This is where I learned how blessed we are to live as close as we do to SLC Shriner's hospital.  The Dr's there have been personally trained by Dr Min Mehta in the Mehta casting method.  There are only a few hospitals that currently have the ability to do this casting method, and they are all in the US and England.  There are people that live in Australia and South America who fly to SLC to be casted there.  I am so grateful that Heavenly Father blessed us to live as close as we do to this place that has the best treatment for Russell.  I hope more facilities become available closer to these people who have to travel so far right now.

I read almost daily before the cast was on, learning what that would entail.

Then the day came.  We arrived at Shriner's by 8:30am.  (We were 30 min early, having misjudged how long it would take us to get there in traffic.  But that was just fine.) Russell had his last drink at 9am, when we checked in.  It's a blur to remember how many people, drs we met that morning.  It is a much smaller hospital than Primary Children's, which was good and bad. 
Good because it had a more personal feel, and because everyone was very attentive to us and to Russell.  Also good because we got to wait in Russell's room(given to him as soon as we got there) the whole day, instead of being with 20 other parents who also had children in surgery.  Much more calm and relaxing to be by ourselves, in our own room. 
Bad because there was only the one surgeon, and they'd started a complicated 5 hour surgery at 9am.  Russell was supposed to go in at 10 am.  I'm not sure why they didn't call us before we left Orem to have us come in later.  But they didn't.  So Russell waited until 1:30pm to go back.  He was a VERY hungry and tired little boy by that time.  Very frustrating for us. 
The surgery involved full anesthesia, breathing tube to inflate his lungs full of air as they casted, untwisting his spine, and of course applying the plaster cast.  Kind of funny that they still call it surgery, even though there was no actual "surgery", like no knives.  They brought him back to the room we were in about two and a half hours after taking him.  They said he did really well.  He was already awake before they brought him back.  At Primary's we always got to be with our kids while they were waking up, not sure why it's different at Shriner's.  In a way, I liked it better, because he woke up with the nurses and drs, and it seemed like he blamed them for the cast, and then when he saw us, he just wanted comfort. 
Which was incredibly hard to give.  The cast covers his whole torso, with a mushroom-shaped cut-out in front, and rectangular cut-out in back.  It is a plaster cast, which cannot get wet, cannot come off (until it's cut off), and cannot bend at all.  He was pretty scared, and pretty mad about it.  It was heart-breaking, even though we knew beforehand it would be hard.  It's very hard to give a cast a hug.  And he just wanted a hug.  I can't tell you how many times this has been the hardest part of the whole ordeal.   Baby Einstein movies were the only thing that calmed him down.  Sort of.  But after another couple of hours, and getting him to eat a bit, we were discharged.  Before this though, they showed us his x-rays.  The drs were very happy and proud of the awesome numbers.  His curve had gone down to 19* and his RVAD was 0*.  Seriously amazing.  Another blessing from the Lord.
Going home was nice.  some of the drs and nurses had asked us if we wanted to stay overnight.  I knew from our experience after Krysta's surgery how much I hate that option.  I knew it would be so much better for all of us to get away from the hospital and go to my mom's house.  I"m soooo glad that we didn't have to stay.
Russell didnt sleep too much that night.  Neither did Scott.  (Thank you thank you dear!)  The next morning was still so sad and hard for all of us.  Russell couldn't sit straight up anymore, because of how low the cast goes past his hips.  The cast weighs about 5 lbs., so at that point, he couldn't get up on his hands and knees to crawl, he couldn't roll over, he couldn't stand, etc.  Basically, he could just lay on his back.  And cry. We left my mom's by 8am because we had to get to Shriner's before 10,so they could check his cast before we went home.  They did end up loosening the front and back a bit before we went home.  He did pretty good all the way home, watching more Baby Einstein movies.:)  But when we got home, all the crying and sadness and anger came back.  I think that in the car, he's used to being strapped down and unable to move.  But when we got out of the car, that was when reality set in again for him.  I held him alot that day, which didn't really seem to help him and made my back hurt a lot.
That night, after he was in bed, I decided that the next day, I wasn't going to be so helpful and carry him as much.  It wasn't helping him and it wasn't good for my back.  So the next day, I got him up and fed him and left him on the floor.  He was pretty mad at first, but by the end of that day, he figured out how to stand up by pulling on the couch cover.  He still couldn't roll over, or walk, or crawl, but he could stand up.  Since then he's made so much progress.  He can pull himself to standing if there is something nearby to pull up with.  He can walk with help.  He has gone up the stairs two times (very exhausting work).  And just yesterday, he learned how to roll from his back to his tummy, and then to get up on his knees.  He walks on his knees now.  He's amazing.  It's been 11 days since the cast was put on.

 What you can't see in these two pictures, is that the cast actually goes down past where his pants/waist is.

Our next casting date is May 22.  I'm going to try to blog everyday.  He's going to need 4-5 casts in all, hopefully, which should take us about a year, give or take a little.  I'm going to blog about it, because it feels so overwhelming to me right now.  Maybe it will help me see the progress we've made as time goes on.  I do know that it will help me to see the hand of the Lord in our lives as time goes on and I learn a lot this year (so far I've learned more about how to diaper in a cast that can't get wet, what to do when said diaper leaks anyway, how to dress a 17-monthold in a cast, how to wear a bib almost all day, how to put padding down on the high chair and car seat so that it doesn't hurt his legs, how to hold him in a way that it doesn't hurt him, how to "petal" a cast, how to duct tape a cast, how to change the knit-rite shirt under the cast and decide I'll never do it again, how to sponge bathe in a cast, how to apply for a handicap decal,  just to name a few):) .  I know that Heavenly Father loves us.  I know He loves Russell.  I know that this will all work our for our good, right now.  I really do believe that this is a blessing for us.  I just can't see it yet. I know things will get better, but right now, it feels like this huge YEAR is LOOMING in front of me with all kinds of unknowns and hardships.  And yes, I know it could be worse.  But this is difficult for me.  And for our family.  So I repeat what I said at the beginning.  No, it's not as bad as it could be.  But yes, it's worse than I'd like it to be.